With the snow we got Sunday and how the school needs to be plowed out, I can go back home maybe for the whole day. So I thought I would say a few things. I have written about the holidays, about a few traditions, gifts from Mikey so this might be a rant/vent/information/thoughts attach what ever word you use to describe the sentiment. We got our first big snow for the year and we are all digging our way to the daily chores we call life. I went off to work to be sent home due to the plowing isn’t done. I may go in later or maybe not. For now I’m looking at the tree I put up this weekend with Ms. Rachel. It’s a great tree, little sits on the table, has all the lights, and changes color. We put out a few decorations. My family and I have decided to not get together on Christmas, which I think is great. The ones with little kids and other sides of family can now spend that day with less running around. It will be the first time in over 50 years we have not all gotten together on Christmas. For my parents it will be the first time in over 70 years they have not had either their family as a kid or their kids as a family. For many families it’s hard to find time to be with all. That is one of the reasons I have always had my holiday party on the 21st. It will be the last one for time has changed and the world has moved on. This year as a family we will get together the Sunday before and then have the day for what ever we want. My brother is going to Reno with his family, my sister can sleep late, my folks well I bet they will be rooming around the house wondering what to do, and for me I would love to sleep late (which I never seem to be able to do), drink good coffee and just have nothing else to think about. Maybe I’ll read a book. I have said a few times in a few ways the Holidays are difficult. They are by definition hard with all the social obligations, the religious implication, the media bombardment, and what/who/why/when you feel. I talked about time in a few post and I still stick with it is “so funny”. I want time to go back and give all of us one more look/touch/talk with Mikey. What would you say to him if it was the only moment you had? I would say some of the same things he heard most days…….. I love you, Don’t follow in my footsteps and make the same mistakes I did, Hug your grandparents, Take the good out of those you come in contact with and leave the rest, I know your amazing believe it, Your better than that, I will always be on your side no matter what, Your a sponge you soak up everything…… Love Mom I would of course Hug him and not let go. I can remember when he was little and he slept he would take his hand and fine the arm of the person by him to touch while he slept from the time he was born. It became a joke when he would do that as an adult. I miss that and way he hugged me. I was just talking with a friend that Mikey would just engulf me when he hugged me. It hard to go from getting lots of hugs a week even when Mikey didn’t live here or was on tour to getting one occasionally if someone comes by or see me at a show. One more adjustment even I was unaware would be coming. I wonder how aware we really are to the plight of those around us. I know I’m less aware than I was, I know I have entered a different stage than most, I know I want to try but the weight can be overwhelming and I wonder if I can be new again.
Call this what you will Thank you for always reading/listening/supporting all the craziness that comes with life.
Love Kathy
I would say let’s make music, or worship God. The music would be for the legacy. For the little ones that grow up to be the future. Like hiphoppers or beings of the conscious type. The worship of God would be the continuance and the connection for fuel like an IV. As an artist (not official to the world anyway) the thought of unifying and gathering the consciousness (physical beings) of what makes the God. Has always been an Eyedea. It was late when I received the news of Michaels, departure. I was dumbfounded, and felt empty. Not just because of hunger, but because I knew there is no food that would replenish that lack of nutrition. Your son was, and is a mental support for me. I knew about your son since the age, of 18, or 19. I am now 30 (11/24/82). I think I was being patient. During all that time I said: one day I will meet all those I will. With the reality and the drama that I am facing in my life I haven’t been able to completely focus my time in energy to the nouns I need in my life. I was late in that sense, but together in brotherhood I want to say. It’s sad that because of money I haven’t been able to do the things that I want and need to do. I feel I was in competition, and against mankind. Not to exclude woman-kind. It must be because I am a messenger of God. Something is showing me that there are some people that I need to shun, or stop. So because of them I have had trouble in networking and constructing. As an architect the construction, or there lack of has been heart breaking. Then again the positive reminder that The Forces of Nature, cannot be held back comes as an affirmation. Trying to convey what is to be. Like the purpose of your son cannot be held back. Whether I am right, or wrong. It will be revealed within due time. I don’t have to mention by now that your son is one of those who I was logically planning and looking forward to build with do I? There have been numerous artists that have passed away since that thought of energy entered my mind. Can you imagine the feelings and thoughts that are conjuring in my insignificant mind? Not to pass on the resentment I have towards man, but for the good that is left in the world, and more importantly the important people that are here continuing the legacy. My purpose is for ___ all. Peace be with you Kathy, and all connected. One Love.
I swear someday I will be somebodies hero//
But until that day… I’m just another fucking weirdo.
Eyedea is my hero.
Growing up as one of six boys,with a single mother- needless to say, there was alot of conflict to deal with,and as i look back and reflect upon certain times in my life when i needed the guidance or shelter or a helping hand in some way shape or form- it was there for me… I can recall several times from my youth where if someone (often a relative) hadnt noticed i was missing or in trouble i would have certainly drowned- literally. But there was this specific time I can recall when I was torn up inside – shaken down to the core with no one around who actually understood or cared to understand what i was going through at the time ( I doubt I myself knew what i was going through at the time) and I remember finding an ipod at 2am, it was pink, and had two songs on it “Birth of a Fish” and “Bottled Dreams”. The first song (after listening to it over and over) gave me a sense of self awareness and helped me identify with my issues while the second song ( Bottled Dreams ) shook me awake to the fact that there is suffering going on inside of everyone and that things might not always seem good- but then again things always what they seem. It wasnt untill a few years later that I made the connection between Eyedea and Oliver Hart, from that moment on he wasnt either of those to me, niether eyedea or oliverhart – he was Micheal,and he was the only person who saved me from drownding- by teaching me how to dive. He truely was a gift.
-Happy Holidays Kathy