Things I miss

I know that a lot of you miss Mikey’s music, words you feel speak directly to you. I miss the little things. The things that can’t be made easier by listening to him spit words of wisdom, feelings, and knowledge. I miss that we always hugged and said I love you when we saw each other or was leaving each other or just cuz. I miss the late night walks we would take with the dog no matter what the weather was like. I miss that Mikey use to get me flowers just because. I miss that we would takes drives just to be alone and talk. I miss the flipping he use to do because he hated commercials or him laying on the couch saying I can’t stand commercials, lets order a movie. Things like me cooking and then just putting it in front of him so he eats. Yelling at him to take a break and just sit for a bit. He never did want to be still, even when he did sleep he was still thinking, planning the next thing, and never quite. This one time when my mom and I went out to see them on tour the sleeping was not very good for any of us. My mom would hum, snore and then sing in her sleep. Mikey would wake up, turn up the TV, talk in his sleep about the next show, and I just tried to shut my eye to rest. That was quite the weekend for not sleeping. I miss the jokes he use to tell to make me laugh, or the stories about this person or that he met at the coffee shop by his apartment. The crazy person who came up to him and say Hey aren’t you Eyedea? Love your stuff but why are you doing rock? That one always made both of us laugh because as a person you progress why not as a musician. I’m even starting to miss the spiting in the dogs mouth and how every new person who came to the house had to watch. The house is quite more now than ever, even with people coming and going. The house will be full again shortly this week is when everyone starts coming home for the dedication. It’s not the same I love them all but I heard Mikey’s voice in my head about how I do more for others than they do for me. He use to tell me to be more selfish and take time for myself and now alls I want is to see and be able to hug him again. I miss his voice of reason when dealing with my parents. Sometimes looking at them and seeing the sadness and heavy heart they have is about all I can take. I know that we all miss different things about Mikey. I miss how when I would complain about something his use to say oh it’s so hard being you. I miss all the dark sarcastic bantering he and my family use to do. I miss his smile which would light up my life. I don’t miss those who sucked the life out of him and then blamed him for their trouble. I don’t miss him asking me to occupy his girlfriends so he can work. I do miss not hearing him with something new, he was always so excited when he found a new passion. I do miss my baby, he gone and with that the light that kept me good. Watch out world the little black heart has come back and my family and friends no what that could mean to the world. Love Kathy